To become yourself, you must understand how you've been influenced.
Of course, you're always yourself, but how much of your 'self' do you miss out on?
How much do you confuse what you really want with what you have been conditioned to believe you want?
How much of yourself do you sacrifice trying to do the things you think other people will like?
The truth is, much of your life is decided for you. You don't choose your genetics yet they dictate much of who you identify your self as.
The same goes for how schools, culture, and religion influence you. Even the era in which you're born massively influences the kind of life you live.
So yes it's normal to feel like certain aspects of your life feel out of your control. And you've likely done things that don't feel like you at all.
Life is heavily influenced from the day we're born and there's nothing inherently wrong with that – it's how we learn.
To do so, you must first learn how you're influenced. Then you can start to make choices that are authentically your own.
Then you can begin to design your life in such a way that you're always in a state of becoming who you really are.