We don't have control over much.

Our subconscious influences us more than our conscious selves.

Other people, companies, and the government are constantly trying to influence our behavior.

Then there's the rest of the universe with its fundamental laws, galaxies, asteroids, and mysteries we must abide by.

Mastering What We Do Have Control Of

Although we may not have control over ourselves, others, or the universe, we do have control over how we choose to be in relationship with each of them.

This doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy. Happiness is happenstance.

But it will put you in control of how you respond to the most influential things in life instead of simply reacting to them.

1. Control your relationship with self

How you talk to yourself determines more than you realize. Your inner chatter isn't something that is going away anytime soon. Make sure it's saying the right thing.

Your beliefs about self determine what you're capable of and what you think you deserve. Most people have self-limiting beliefs that hold them back. Others believe things about themselves simply because of old habits.

Your biological urges and subconscious desires are always tugging at you to do something. How you choose to respond to them determines your level of freedom to act from your higher self instead of your instinctual self.

Your lens of perception peering out into world is through the convexed glass of your disposition. How you frame things influences whether you see the light or the dark.

2. Control your relationship with others

How we perceive other people's opinions greatly affects the way we perceive ourselves. We need to be careful about not only who we surround ourselves with, but the way we absorb our surroundings as well. Nobody knows you better than you.

You can't control how people treat you, but you can control how you treat them. Even if you sometimes feel an urge to react to someone, you have the ability to calmly respond.

There are a lot of different people and institutions seeking to modify your behavior in a way that helps them. It's not conspiratorial, it's normal and has been going on for centuries. You just want to be sure you're not being duped or blindly controlled by others. But with customized algorithms that know you better than friends and family, it's becoming harder and harder to detect.

Whether or not you have strong social bonds significantly impacts your happiness and overall wellbeing. It may not always feel like it, but you do have control over this. If you don't have people to call your tribe, build one. If you do, build more with them.

3. Control your relationship with universe

Another way of looking at it, is controlling your relationship with soul, spirit, God, or Source.

When you zoom out from your ego and into a space of meditation, you connect to this space. And it's been shown time and time again that it's really good for us. Whereas when we focus too much on the self, we suffer.

When you have gratitude for simply being alive, you're struck by awe at the magnitude of it all. You can feel an overwhelming sense of interconnectedness. Or you can feel small and desolate on a floating rock in infinite space. You have the choice.

You can seek states of flow where you lose yourself in the moment absorbed by presence, or count the seconds passing by as you anxiously think about the future or nostalgically miss the past.

Control what you can control

We're born into the universe with such little control over it.

But we can be the masters of our internal universe.

Take control of how you relate to self, others, and the universe.

It's the only real shot we have at having a say in this whole thing.