“To know yourself is to forget yourself.” -Dogen Zen-ji
Identity, and and how we view the world, is based on what happened to you, not necessarily who you are. 'Be Yourself' is bad advice since most of us repeat bad habits established beneath our awareness, reinforcing a version of ourselves we no longer want to be.
Instead of animating the story written before you had agency, undo who you've been and rewrite who you become.
Unknown → Known
You deserve to be happy
Kill your ego
You have free will
Just do it
Discover yourself
Be yourself
Seek self-actualization
Achieve new years resolutions
Trauma is bad, avoid it
You control technology
Known → Unknown
Stop pursuing happiness
Embrace your ego (kill your identity)
You have free won't
Just undo it
Dis-cover yourself
Stop being yourself
Seek non-self actualization
Start tiny habits
Trauma is inevitable, understand it
Technology controls you
There is no 'finding' yourself,' which is why personal development and self-help can feel like a circular treadmill leading nowhere.
Instead of trying to discover yourself, Unself Help encourages you to dis-cover your self.
When we uncover who the ingredients that make up the self, we can better determine who we want to become.
Dogen Zen-ji said, “To know yourself is to forget yourself.”
If our patterns and identity are based on our childhood, trauma, and convenience, ‘be yourself’ isn’t great advice.
To become who we want to be, it's often about undoing who we've been to become who we want to be.
Instead of seeking Self Actualization, strive for Unself Actualization.
We live in a culture with far too much attention on the Self and it concretizes who we've been instead of who we want to become.
The more we unravel from previous identities, the easier we can create the life we want.
After healing 20 years of chronic back pain, I realized how much of my life was determined by it. Feeling robbed of autonomy and wanting to control my future, I investigated (I was a Private Investigator at the time) how unseen forces shape who we become.
Almost all our decisions, behaviors, and beliefs are established beneath our conscious awareness. When I accepted my present was a reflection of the past, I was able to control my future.
Instead of self-help and personal development, I focus on what I call, Unself Help and Personal Undevelopment. Doing more often means repeating more of the wrong things.
I quit my job as a Private Investigator, became a certified Self-Mastery and yoga instructor, and moved to Costa Rica to rewrite my life. Today I help others write their story with Scribe Media, and help others rewrite their life through Unself Help.